Adopting an Older Child
Kids First International has been doing adoption work for over 23 years, and we are committed to guide families through every step of the adoption process. Adopting an older child is an amazing experience as it gives opportunities to a child that include a life with a family and a sense of belonging to that family and the surrounding community. At the same time, adopting an older child provides equal opportunity for adoptive parents to grow their families and fulfil their desires to give love, attention, care, and joy to both the family’s life and the child’s life. Adopting an older child is a huge step and decision, and we believe that every family must approach this decision very carefully. When considering an older child adoption, it is important to be selfish in some respects regarding personal knowledge of what families can and cannot handle.
People often ask what kind of family would be the right fit to adopt an older child, and this is a great question to ask. A number of families who are interested in older child adoption are families who are in their late forties and fifties, and they have stability and love to bring an older child into their family. We also see several parents whose children are in high school and ready to go to college, and there is a desire to continue parenting because it brings so much satisfaction and joy. Families who are interested in older child adoption also include parents who started their families later in life, parents who have raised their children already, parents who want to build a life with a new life partner, or parents who always had a heart for adoption and are finally in a position in their lives to do it.
At Kids First International we believe in love, good intentions, and permanency. We also believe in being intentional while going through the adoption process, and we do very intentional work while guiding adoptive parents through the process.
Families who are interested in adopting an older child should know and expect that these older children have experienced separation from their biological families. It is always hard to know for sure the degree of hardship each child has experienced; we need to expect that the child has experienced neglect, potential physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, and abandonment. The ability of an older child to trust others could have been damaged by people earlier in their lives.
As in any adoption situation, in most cases we do not know the lifestyle of the biological mother, family history, potential exposure to substances while the mother was pregnant, etc. Please know that we are not trying to be negative, and there are some things that could be done to have a basic idea about the child’s development. We believe that families should be aware of and educated about the realities of older child adoption. When families adopt an older child, that child watches every step made, and they pay attention to every detail to know how safe they are in their environment. It is important for each child to belong and feel accepted. We guide our adoptive families through the process of preparing to welcome their child home way before the child enters their forever home. Adoptive parents should know all they can about older child adoption by asking as many questions as possible.
Kids First International very strongly believes that adoptive parents should consult with an independent doctor who specializes in adoption medicine; this is crucial. As an agency, we ask for as much information as we can possibly get from our coordinators overseas. It is important to understand the measurements such as the height, weight, and head circumference of the child at birth. It is also important to understand the developmental milestones of the child as it shows how the child was developing and where they stand. It is also very important to understand the personality of the child, how they interact with their peers, what was happening in their life, and to see relinquishment of parental rights if possible. All these things become an opportunity for us to better understand what is happening with the child and what it takes for them to adjust and for the potential adoptive family to adjust.
We have to be honest with you, there are so many children with so much potential all over the world. They hope for love and permanency, and they are scared of more rejection. This agency suggests keeping children in birth order if possible. For example, if parents are parenting a ten-year-old, they should consider adopting a child up to age 8 to keep the adopted child the youngest in the family. This agency is committed to walk each family through the whole process and to share their honest opinions regarding what might be a good match based on family composition, needs of children families are already parenting, and all other life commitments.
If a family calls us wanting to adopt a specific child that we are advocating for, the countries we work with allow up to 6 months for families to get their home study approval and USCIS approval to adopt that child. Families will need to provide commitment documents to the ministry. By doing this, the ministry will hold the referral under the family’s name to allow them an extra 6 months to complete the necessary paperwork to be in a position to adopt the child.
When families are considering adoption, this agency is committed to walk them through every stage of the process. We provide guidance on the application, collecting documents, getting all the proper information from our coordinators, helping with arrangements in country, helping with every step of your adoption journey.
If you want to schedule an adoption coaching meeting, below is a link to schedule time for any questions you may have.