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Real Answers to Your Real Questions About Adoption

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Real Answers to Real Questions About Adoption

Adoption Plan, Adoption Services, Pregnancy Resources & Support

We are an organization which helps pregnant or parenting women or families make an adoption plan for their child/children when they feel it is in their and their child’s best interest.

General Questions

1. I am not ready to parent a baby/child. What should I do?

Knowing your options is a great thing. You can always schedule a confidential call with an adoption agency, but prior to that, make sure you write out your own questions that are important to you. Leave some space between the lines so you can fill them in. Creating an adoption plan is a huge decision, it is extremely important that all your questions are answered. This should allow you to make a decision one way or another.

2. Will my baby hate me when he/she will grow up because I gave them a chance?

This is a concern of so many young women who are making an incredibly selfless decision to make an opportunity for their child. Just the fact that you are thinking about it shows how much you care, how much you love your baby, and how much you want them to feel good about things in life and to have a good life. Actually, research shows that children who grow up in a loving, stable, caring environment end up being thankful for their biological families for creating the best opportunities a parent could for them. At the end of the day, it is the responsibility of each parent to create a good future for their child, whether they parent the child themselves or come up with an adoption plan. Children do ask questions later in life if that opportunity was not given to them.

3. How do I know which adoptive family is best for my plan?

Again, it is important to put together a list of questions that are very important to you. You might want to make sure the family will keep your heritage life in the child’s life. You might want a family who will give your child the best education and travel and explore the world. It might be a family who would support your child in their interests and gifts you gave to the child and will allow them to become who they are meant to become. Whatever it is that is really important to you, you will need to look in the profile of potential adoptive parents and to ask these questions upfront, while making such a huge decision for the future of your child.

4. How much will it cost to give my child advantages of the adoption plan?

Adoption services are free to biological families. It will not cost you anything.

5. How do I choose the right family for my child?

Please put together a list of what is important to you. Don’t feel shy to ask your questions when you have a meeting with potential adoptive family. You will know in your heart if this is the right adoptive family for your child.

6. How do I make sure that my child will receive support?

First of all, you will ask a lot of questions which are important to you. Also, please know that in order to qualify to become an adoptive parent, families have to go through a lot of screening from FBI clearances and sexual offenders clearances, disclosure of their financial and medical information, visit to their house, educational hours, discussion about ethnicity, heritage, and so many other topics. We want to assure you that we take our job very seriously and if we have any concerns about the ability of a family to provide a great life for a child, we do not approve them.

7. What if I chose the adoptive family and they changed their mind and don’t want to adopt anymore?

If situation like that arises, we will present other profiles of adoptive families, we will make sure your questions are answered. It is incredibly important to us that you feel comfortable with your decision, even though it is such a difficult one. We will put every effort to make sure your hopes are met. We have been doing adoption work for over 22 years and often feel that when somebody backed off, it was not meant to be and your child was supposed to be raised in a different family.

8. The birth father does not agree with my adoption plan. Do I have to name the biological father? Can you talk to him?

You have the right to name or not to name biological father. If you name him, we are obligated to contact him and have his consent for adoption in place as well. Biological father has the right to sign relinquishment paperwork before the child’s birth or you can do it together after the birth of the child.  If you chose not to identify the father, it is his obligation to put his name on the registry and to notify the agency about his intention to parent. We can talk to bioligcal father if you release his name, but we can never push him or influence his decision one way or another.

9. What happens if biological father of my baby is in prison?

If the biological father is in prison, we usually send him a certified letter explaining your decision to have an adoption plan for the child. You start with the decision of whether you do or do not want to identify the biological father, regardless if he is incarcerated or not.

10. I have a plan for my child. Can I have adoptive parents who will let me have a say?

Yes, absolutely! We always encourage you to write down your questions so that they can be addressed during our joint meeting. As an agency, we will also be glad to schedule separate meetings with both you and the adoptive parents, and if we feel that adoptive family is not in the position to meet your expectations regarding your plan after the placement, we discuss it together. If responses do not meet your hopes, we do not have to continue with this adoptive family. You have the right to choose another family from the list of pre-approved adoptive parents.

11. How much of a say does the birth mother get?

The birth mother makes the final decision regarding placement of her child with a certain family she chooses. You can make a plan which would incorporate some visitations (open adoption), updates and pictures (semi-open), or closed. In this scenario of closed adoption, our agency would still reach out to the adoptive family for pictures if you called us after placement.

12. What if I have multiple children I need to place for adoption? Can you help me with that?

Yes, absolutely. Through the years we dealt with many situations where mother made a decision to place a sibling group for adoption. If it meets the hope biological parents, we will always make a huge effort to place children in one family. We will also want to learn about the personalities, medical needs, behavioral needs, etc of each child. We are very intentional in our work and will present potential adoptive parents who we feel are fully equipped to provide a good life for your children, even if they are a multiple sibling group.

13. What if I met with an adoptive family and I don’t like them? Can I choose a different family?

Yes absolutely. We will work with you to make sure that you have an opportunity to choose a family you feel comfortable with, because it is so incredibly important.

14. Can I find a family which fits my adoption plan?

Yes. This is our goal and we will provide profiles of adoptive parents so you can chose initially. We will also set up meetings or phone calls to make sure all your questions are answered.

15. My pregnancy was unplanned. What should I do?

Unplanned pregnancy is a surprise which creates a lot of thoughts and need for big decisions. Only you know if you will be able to parent or whether an adoption plan is a better option for you. We wish you lots of wisdom and strength. We would be honored to be a support for you or answer any questions you may have when making this not-simple decision.

We are an adoption agency which comes in on short notice, and we can provide immediate help for families who need the option of adoption for their newborn, toddler, or school age child. The older the child, the longer it might take to find the right family for placement. We will respond to you in a timely manner because we know many situations require a timely response, and we have families ready to step in. Our services are free for biological families.

Resources

1. What care and resources can you give me once I have an adoption plan?

Our first step is to meet with you and to understand how we can be helpful to you. We will provide resources in different areas depending on where your needs are. It is our hope that you will accept the resources we are providing. That is why we will listen and try and understand your needs regardless if the needs are housing, employment, medical care, mental health, domestic violence concerns, or whatever life brought to your table. We always provide transportation to doctor appointments and want to make sure you have proper medications and food in your home.

2. Will you give me resources to help me to deal with the loss of my child?

Yes. We would want to help you in every way we can. There are so many different ways to help and we always start from a conversation with you. We will always listen about what will be actually helpful for you. There are so many resources and we need to find the right one that will help you through that journey.

3. I am homeless again and again. What resources can you have for me? Is adoption the right plan?

We always approach it on a case by case basis depending on what your needs are. This could include medication, transportation, doctors appointments, employment opportunities, housing, etc. If you live in Indiana, Indiana allows for up $4,000 after delivery in support money. This is what Indiana law allows and this money can assist with getting a place of your own, get out of a poor relationship, get proper clothing, or other important living expenses.

4. I want my child to have support. Will you help me to find support afterwards?

Yes. We would want to help you in every way we can. There are so many different ways to help and we always start from a conversation with you. We will always listen about what will be actually helpful for you. There are so many resources and we need to find the right one that will help you through that journey.

5. Would my adoption specialist support me with food and clothing needs?

Yes. We provide a monthly amount which will help you and support you with essential needs. We would look for other resources in the community as well to maximize the help we can provide to you.

6. Would my adoption specialist provide me with case management services?

Yes. We will walk you through the process and try to be as much of a support as we can regarding your needs and questions and in your search for resources. We will always honor your confidentiality, your independence, and your choices.

7. How much financial support can I receive from my adoption plan?

The state of Indiana allows for up to $4000 in support money. Details of which are discussed in meetings after adoption plan is set up.

8. Will my adoption specialist help me with my transportation needs?

Yes. While we can’t promise to get you everywhere you need to go, we will definitely provide transportation to doctor’s appointments or job interviews, or help out if an emergency came up.

9. Will my adoption plan include spiritual services?

We will be honored if this will be your decision. As an agency we value diversity, different cultures, and different religions. We will try very hard to connect you with the spiritual resources of your preference.

Confidentiality

1. Will my adoption plan be private?

Yes. We understand the sensitivity of your situation, and we will always keep confidentiality and respect your privacy. There are two scenarios that we are obligated to report:  1) if there is a child in danger or 2) someone’s life is in danger. Other than that, regardless of health or legal issues, we will work with you and respect your privacy. We encourage medical history which would be relevant to the child in the future will be shared with the adoptive family so that they can be fully equipped and ready to parent the child. This works the other way as well. If the adoptive family has a new situation that would affect their parenting, we would share that with you.

2. Is my adoption specialist a mandated reporter?

Only in situations where a child is in danger or someone’s life is in danger, the adoption specialist is mandated to report.

3. Will my adoption specialist turn me in to authorities?

No, unless there is a child in danger or someone’s life is in danger. For example if you have serious legal issues, mental health issues, are using drugs, or engage in other activities that do not create danger or harm to someone’s life, we will not report.

4. Are you going to notify my biological family about my adoption plan?

Absolutely not. It is a decision of biological parents and regardless if you are underage or dealing with difficult situations, we would not discuss this issue with your family. As a mother, you have a right to name or not name the biological father, unless you put his name on the birth certificate or are married.

Adoption Plan Timing

1. How fast can I set up an adoption plan for my baby/child?

We are able to set up an adoption plan within an hour. The main thing we would need to know is if you would like to choose the family from fully approved adoptive parents. If you just delivered the baby, we would need to follow the policy of the hospital regarding when you could sign paperwork. It is typically sometime between 24 and 48 hours after birth but could be longer. We place children from infancy to school age.

If you just delivered the baby, you could call us right away and we will present profiles of fully approved adoptive parents. In some situations, women will not want to decide on a family and we can do that for you. It is your decision.

If you are parenting a child already out of the hospital, we will need to see the child’s ID, birth certificate of child, and SSN of child. If you do not have documents in place, we will help you locate them. Placement cannot happen until we have correct documents to verify that you are biological parent of the child.

2. What if I need adoption services now?

You can call us and we have a number of fully approved adoptive parents who are ready to step in right away.

3. How soon can a pregnant mother can make an adoption plan?

As soon as she is ready and knows an adoption plan would be in the best interest of the child and in her best interest.

4. My baby was just born. Can I make an adoption plan?

Yes. You can call day or night at this number and we will answer.

Financial Costs

1. Will adoption cost me anything?

No, adoption services are free for biological families.

2. How much does adoption plan cost to me?

Nothing, it will not cost you money

3. Will my adoption specialist help me with my transportation needs?

Yes, we will assist with getting you to doctor’s appointments or job interviews and in an emergency.

Making Your Adoption Plan

1. Can I have a closed adoption plan?

Yes. We will always respect your privacy, and we are glad to answer your questions. We will make sure that any time you want to call and check to see how your child is doing, and to ask for a picture, we will provide it.

2. Can I have an open adoption plan?

Yes, we usually set up a meeting between you and the potential adoptive family and discuss what you have in mind. We want to make sure we have a solid plan with clear expectations on both sides.

3. Are there families ready to adopt today?

Yes. We have many families who are fully ready, prepared, and approved to start parenting today.

4. Is adoption permanent?

Yes it is. That is why we want to make sure biological families have all their questions in place and answered. We would never want for somebody to make such a big decision and not understand the permanency of it.

5. Is adoption a temporary placement?

No it is not. That is why we want to make sure biological families have all their questions in place and answered. We would never want for somebody to make such a big decision and not understand the permanency of it.

6. Can adoptive parents be with me in the delivery room?

Yes. This is totally your decision. They will always respect your decision and respect your privacy if you give them the honor and trust to be in the delivery room with you.

7. Will the adoptive parents stick to the adoption plan?

Yes. Adoption plan is not a legal commitment but an ethical commitment. We spend a lot of time and effort to make sure adoption plan is discussed and all the questions are addressed ahead of time so that both parties can stick to this plan for the well being of the child. As an agency we will put a lot of effort to make sure the plan is alive and help both sides to connect and to maintain their connection.

Circumstances

1. Can I place multiple children in one adoptive home?

Yes, this agency is always committed to keep siblings together, and we keep strong communication with biological family regarding what their hopes are. We always appreciate when biological families can share information about their children’s personalities, needs, skills they are the best in and could grow in, strong and weak skills, and medical history. We discuss these details at length with biological families, and we always listen so that we can present the profile of potential adoptive parents who are fully equipped to meet the children’s needs.

2. Can you help me to build an adoption plan for multiple children?

Yes, of course. We will work with you and we will listen carefully to what is important to you. As the parent, you know your children so well. We would want to learn as much as we can and listen to as much as you will share. Your wishes are our main guideline and the adoption plan for children is based on that.

3. Can I choose adoption if I was raped?

Yes. First, we are so sorry you are in such a difficult position. It is always your choice to make an adoption plan for your child in your situation. You and only you are a decision maker in this situation.

4. Can I choose adoption if I am under age?

Yes, you can. It does become your decision even if you are minor, you are the main decision maker in the situation. Your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc cannot interfere with that decision, but can be a support.

5. Can I choose an adoption plan if I am an alcoholic?

Yes. We will treat you with respect and dignity and listen to what your hopes are regarding the future of your child.

6. Can I make adoption plan for a child which doesn’t live with me?

If you are legally the biological parent of this child, you are the decision maker and you can choose adoption as an option to create the future you would like for your child.

7. How soon can I make an adoption plan?

Sometimes within hours if needed. We do want to make sure you understand the permanency of the decision and make sure this is the decision that is not based on impulse or a difficult day or influenced by someone else.

8. If I live in a shelter, can I make an adoption plan?

Yes you can. We will try to work with you regarding long term housing opportunities if that is what you want us to do. Our style with working with families is to listen to what they want to accomplish and provide services accordingly.

9. If I am on a house arrest, can I make an adoption plan?

Yes absolutely, we are sorry this is a difficult time for you. Make proper accommodations make sure you can fulfill best interest of child. We deal with just what you contact us for. We do not interfere with your business or circumstances unless you need help from us.

10. If I don’t speak English, is an interpreter available?

We will absolutely find an interpreter and make every effort to have your questions answered. You will first need to provide proof of pregnancy and a picture ID, or if the child is already born, we need to see the birth certificate and ID’s from the biological parents.

11. If my baby needs surgery, will you help me find an adoptive family?

Yes, we have a number of families who are fully equipped to deal with children with medical needs. We will be very intentional in finding the right family. It will be your decision to choose the family, or we can find a family on your behalf who is fully prepared. We see different preferences in how women want to approach this decision, and we do what you ask.

12. If my child is sick, will you help me to find an adoptive family?

Yes, we will definitely help you in every way. We would need to learn about the medical needs of your child, and we will look for a family that can provide the appropriate care and a loving, stable environment for your child with opportunities in life. It is important for us that biological parents share as much information as possible with us because we’re very intentional in our search for a fully-approved adoptive family who can meet these needs.

13. If my child is blind or deaf, will you help me to find an adoptive family?

We will look for an adoptive family within this community or families who are fully equipped to meet the needs of your child. You will have the right to participate in choosing the family, or we can chose from the fully approved family. We will always follow your wishes of choosing. We want you to have the opportunity to chose the adoptive family if you would like.

14. Can a person of any religion, sex or race choose an adoption plan?

Yes, we are a very diverse agency, and we work with biological families from all religions, backgrounds, ethnicities, and sexual orientations. We will always support your wishes regardless of your background.

15. Will my adoption specialist have to work with DCS if I have an open case?

Yes. We will work with your DCS caseworker. We encourage you to contact us before or as soon as your child was placed in the custody of DCS. If you are a mother who delivered a baby in the hospital and DCS was called because of substance abuse, you can call us before or after DCS caseworker comes in and we will work with them directly. If DCS has come and removed child, please always ask for business card of caseworker and we will connect with the DCS worker. We will provide profiles of fully approved adoptive families so you can choose a family if that is what you would like. We can also chose the family from fully approved adoptive parents for you if you prefer. If a placement took place, we will follow up with them. They will typically inspect the home of our fully approved adoptive family.

We want you to understand the permanency of an adoption plan and the difference between plan for reunification, which involves DCS, and permanent adoption, which you would do with a private adoption plan. If you feel private adoption plan is the right option, you will have the choice of the family, and open/semi-open/ or closed adoption. You get to decide who will raise your child and you have the option of having long term relationship with the child and adoptive family who is parenting your child if that is your choice.

Making an adoption plan is a big decision, and we don’t want you to take it lightly. It is important to know both your options and choices. You do have a say.

16. I am involved with DCS. When is too late to have my adoption plan?

If the child is already a ward of the state, we cannot step in. You can make an adoption plan if you’re concerned that DCS will get involved and you know that an adoption plan is in your child’s best interest. You still might be able to make the decision of an adoption plan within the first days or week or DCS involvement. The sooner you contact us, the higher the chance that you’ll be able to make the decision of an adoption plan for your child and yourself.

17. I am a single father. Can I choose an adoption plan?

Yes, we would need to have consent from the biological mother as well, birth certificate, SS cards, and your ID.

18. I am parenting my grandchild. Can I choose an adoption plan?

Yes, you can under certain circumstances. We would be glad to meet with you and make sure we take into consideration your certain circumstances and arrangements with the biological parents to guide you through the process. This still requires the consent of the biological parent(s). It is a big decision and a huge responsibility for a grandparent to parent a child:  if you are not in the position to parent, you can choose an open adoption plan and still be in your grandchild’s life. We will be happy to provide options based on your unique situation. Please feel free to contact us for a free consultation.

18. Can I choose adoption for one of my children but not for all of them?

Yes you can. You are the parent and decision maker. You know what you can and cannot handle. You have responsibility for the future child, and if this will provide a good opportunity and future for your child, you have the right to make that decision.

1. Would you report me if I have legal issues?

No, the only time this agency reports if a child is endangered or somebody’s life is endangered. We have helped so many women with legal issues for years and stayed in touch with them for years to come.

2. Can I choose adoption without any documentation?

You can, and we will provide all the help we can to help you obtain all the required documents. Legally we will need ID and proof of pregnancy or birth certificate if you are already parenting.

3. Can I choose adoption plan if I am a refugee?

Yes you can. If you are pregnant or parenting, it is possible, we just need to establish the proper documents that this is the biological parent. We would be happy to look at each situation at a time.

4. Will I need a lawyer for an adoption plan?

No, you do not need an attorney, but if you would like one, the agency will assist with that.

5. Is adoption considered abandonment?

No it is not. It is quite opposite of abandonment. It is a selfless decision for the child to ensure the child has a good future and stable life ahead of them.

6. Will I have to go to court for adoption?

No you will not. You will need to sign relinquishment paperwork prior to the adoption, but you will not need to appear in court.

7. Can I make an adoption plan if my family is against it?

Yes, it is yours and only your plan.

8. Can I make an adoption plan if biological father is in prison?

Yes you can. If you are pregnant, it is your choice to name or not name the biological father. If you name him, we will need to serve him notice at the prison he’s residing. There may be some circumstances where his consent may not be required. If the father is on the birth certificate, we are obligated to notify him as well. Each situation is different and we will be happy to assist.

9. Can I make adoption plan if biological father is against it?

If the biological father is on the birth certificate, or if he is named as father, his consent may be required. Each situation is very different.

10. Is adoption permanent?

Yes, adoption is a permanent decision selflessly made by the biological family to ensure the future they want for their child. We want to make sure all your questions are answered before the biological parents sign relinquishment paperwork. We provide profiles of fully approved adoptive parents so biological parents can ensure this is the right decision for them and their child.

11. Is adoption a temporary placement?

No, adoption is a permanent decision which is selflessly made by the parent to ensure the future they are hoping their child will have. We hope that in many of the situations, that adoption also allows biological parents who are unable to parent at this time to put their lives on the right track.

12. Can I choose adoption plan if I am incarcerated?

Yes, you can. First of all, we are sorry it is such a difficult time in your life. As a parent you have a voice and choice, and if you feel this is the best decision for your child, this is a decision you can make. Regardless of other opinions- friends, family, people who represent you. Whether incarcerated or not, parents are entitled to make this decision and so many don’t know they have that right.

Special Needs and Older Child Adoption

1. Can I choose adoption plan for an older child/children?

Yes. As an agency, we are very intentional to make sure, based on the background and unique needs of the child, you are introduced to appropriate fully approved adoptive families. We will need to learn from you about your child’s personality, what they like, don’t like, medical needs, behaviors, things they like to eat, etc. The more we know about your child or children, the better the job we can do to help your child or children be put in the right situation in life.

2. If my baby needs surgery, will you help me find an adoptive family?

Yes, we work with a number of fully approved families who will provide all the care, nurture and appropriate follow up regarding the child’s health for years to come. We always ask many questions regarding the child’s health situation, so that the adoptive family is fully prepared to meet the child’s needs. So many adoptive families will commit their lives and energy to parenting a child who has to deal with certain medical conditions.

3. If my child has Down syndrome, will you help me to find an adoptive family?

Yes, we work with a number of fully approved adoptive families who are educated, knowledgeable and excited to parent a child with Down syndrome.

4. If my child is in the NICU will you help me an adoptive family?

Yes, we have a number of fully approved families who will nurture your child and stay night and day with your baby. We have adoptive families who will nurture them through life to help them reach their developmental goals. We have so many families who will be totally committed to devote their life to your child. They will have the time, energy, resources and finances to do it.

5. If my child is in the hospital, can I make an adoption plan?

Yes, if you know that an adoption plan is in the best interest of your child and you, you can make an adoption plan while your child is in the hospital. We will need to see the copy of the child’s birth certificate and your ID. We would need to know if the biological father is on the child’s birth certificate or involved in the child’s life. We welcome any questions you have for us, and we will go above and beyond to answer your questions and to help you and your child.

Ready to take the next step to learn more about adoption?

Dear Families and Friends of KidsFirst,

We are sure all of you are following the very sad news about what is happening in Ukraine. Many of you know that Inna Pecar, the Executive Director of KidsFirst International Adoption, Inc., is from Ukraine and that KidsFirst has a program in Ukraine and is working with families who are in the middle of their journey to bring children home. The staff of KidsFirst has spent hours, days, and nights communicating with Ukrainian authorities and rescue organizations from all over the world in our effort to help however we can.

We have also received countless phone calls from families who want to donate, adopt, host, and help in every possible way. We have received many requests about either hosting displaced children from Ukraine or donating to assist with the care, protection, and safety of the children.
HOSTING:
 
Hosting or adopting is out of the question while Ukraine is in a war. There is currently no legal process that could initiate or address an adoption case. After the war ends, Ukrainian social services will guide any adoption process in accordance with their regulations.

DONATIONS:
 
KidsFirst Foundation, which was started in 2002, is a separate nonprofit entity from KidsFirst International that has provided hundreds of thousands of dollars to benefit orphanages in Russia, Kazakhstan, China, Ethiopia, Haiti, and Guatemala. KidsFirst Foundation consists of board members and volunteers who donate their time. There are no paid staff members and there are virtually no administrative costs. We expect one hundred percent of donations to go towards the projects we raise money for.

Initially, we have been reluctant to accept donations because we did not have definite projects to direct them to. Now, however, we have identified projects we know will benefit from donations and which will provide relief to those affected by the war in Ukraine. We are ready to start accepting donations!

 
We receive requests for new projects multiple times a day. Some of them are related to the care of orphans and some involve the provision of assistance to children, women, elderly, and disabled who are surrounded by Russian forces and live in devastating conditions under continuous bombing. They do not have food, medications, water, and other necessities and are trying to escape to safer areas, which is a very risky and difficult task. Inna talks directly with so many of them each day; their strength, patriotism, positivity, and endurance are beyond description.
 
Following are some of the requests we have received:
 
  • Financial help with food, medications, and the most basic humanitarian needs of 2,000 orphans in the Lviv region alone.
  • Financial or humanitarian help to set up mobile camps where children can safely live.
  • Request from a group of local helpers who transport humanitarian help to people in Kyiv.
  • Financial help for transportation and rescue mission of those trapped in the Kherson (Cherson) area. We are communicating multiple times a day with a group of 32 people who are without basic needs of medication and food.

Please note that some of the missions work out and some become impossible because of the rapidly changing conditions in an area. Some areas just become too dangerous to send people into.

We would be most appreciative of any assistance we receive. We do guarantee that one hundred percent of funds received will go towards helping Ukrainian children and people. You can specify your preferences to what project you donate towards, and we will do our best to honor your preference.
DONATE HERE
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