What is adoption? Adoption is a parent’s selfless, permanent decision to create a future for their child if they feel this is not the right time for them/they are not in the position to parent. It takes a lot of love, courage, strength and resilience to not only make the decision, but to then deal with so many people who want to give unhelpful advice or tell them they are not making the right decision.
As children grow up, they expect their biological family to create possibilities, stability, and opportunities in life for them. Parents are responsible for making sure their children have good, stable lives, and that’s why so women and families choose an adoption plan; because they feel a responsibility to make sure the child is taken care of, but aren’t in the position to do so themselves.
If you talk to somebody who has chosen this path, please don’t judge. Provide support and understanding, and please know they are thinking about their child every day. They want them to be happy, to have an easier life than they did, and hope that one day they will understand why they made this selfless and incredibly difficult decision. We often want to give advice, but sometimes it’s not what people need. Trust that as a loving parent, they have made the best decision for their child. What they need most is acceptance and a support system of people who want the best for them. We also want to add that adoption is a permanent decision, to ensure that the child is in the best situation possible.
How is the type of adoption chosen? The type of adoption depends on the wishes of the biological family (this would be both the mother and the father of the child, if he is on the birth certificate.) There is no right or wrong approach; it is based on what each biological family wants, their individual situation, and what they feel is the right choice for them.
What are the different types of adoption plans women can choose from?
Open adoption – Includes face-to-face visits, usually once or twice a year (or according to what was agreed to between biological and adoptive family.) A popular example is meeting at the park or going for ice cream. It would also involve regular updates and pictures, sent either through the agency or by setting up a separate email address.
Semi-open adoption – Usually only updates and pictures exchanged regularly between the adoptive and biological family. No face-to-face visits (until the child becomes older and potentially wants to connect and meet their biological family.)
Closed adoption – Does not include any updates or pictures. The biological family prefers to know that their child is in a good, stable situation and having a closed adoption plan helps them to move on in life. This does not mean that 3 years down the line, the biological family cannot call the agency and ask about the child or ask for pictures.
Each adoption plan is individual and unique. Usually, the agency helps the biological and adoptive family have a healthy conversation in order to decide which adoption plan would be best for them. Although oftentimes both sides are involved, the biological family is the one who truly guides the process by expressing their wishes on the type of adoption. Agencies should help to identify fully approved families who are comfortable with that plan, within reason.
So what is the first step for a woman who is not sure if parenting is the right decision for her, and wants to explore the option of adoption?
Please know that the adoption process is completely free for biological parents. Usually, the first step is to reach out to an agency. You can contact us through our website, or text/call
(317) 518 3032 at any time. The only information we would need from you is whether you are pregnant, or already parenting. If you are only calling for more information or because you have questions, you do not have to give your name or any contact information (you can remain completely anonymous and be assured that we will not contact you unless you request it.) If you feel you are ready and need an adoption placement right away, please know that in emergency cases the child can be placed as quickly as the same day. So again, feel free to call or text us at any time and simply let us know what you need from us.
For example: “I am pregnant and need an adoption plan.”
“I just delivered a baby and need a good family to parent my child.”
“I am already parenting a 1 year old and am not in the position to continue.”
How do I prepare for adoption? What documents should I have?
What you need to have ready before placement can take place: a copy of your ID, your physical ID, the child’s birth certificate if the child has already been born, a marriage certificate if you are currently married, and if you are still at the hospital and do not have a birth certificate yet, you will need your ID.
So what happens after I contact the agency and wish to proceed with next steps? Where do we go from there?
Option 1: The agency would next meet with the woman/biological family and explain how the process works. They would usually bring profiles of fully approved adoptive families with them for the biological family to look through.
Option 2:If they instead prefer to look through the available adoptive families at home/before the meeting, that can also be easily done. All they need to do is provide an email address, along with a copy of their ID and proof of pregnancy (or copy of birth certificate) and we will send them profiles of fully approved adoptive families who are ready to step in and become parents.
So who are these adoptive families? How do I know they will provide a good life for my child and I will be able to trust them? These are good and valid questions. In order to be presented as a potential adoptive family, each family has to go through a home study process. The home study is a very thorough and detailed review by a licensed adoption agency about the life of the adoptive family and their intention to adopt. They must present their medical information, medical and life insurance information, FBI clearances, sexual offenders registry clearances and personal references. They spend hours sharing about their life with a licensed social worker. We come to their homes and check if they are safe, clean and stable. We also think of the future; they must have a set guardianship plan. We require them to take educational classes about adoption, as well as understanding and respecting cultural and ethnic differences. We also have discussions about their views on talking about adoption with their child as age-appropriately as they become older and always treating the biological family with respect, dignity, and honesty.
Are there any requirements for which children are eligible for an adoption plan?
We believe all children deserve a loving home. For this reason, we are happy to help you create an adoption plan for anywhere from infants, to school age. It is not an issue if your child has special medical needs, or if you are needing a parenting plan for sibling groups. Please call or text if you have any questions about your unique situation.
So what rights does the biological father have?
It is important that you think through how you would answer the question about the involvement of the biological father. If the child has already been born and the father is on the birth certificate, he is considered the legal father. In this case, the agency would first have to take all steps to contact him and notify him of your decision to place the child for adoption. This is the law. If the father feels he is in the position to parent the child, it will be his decision on how to proceed.
If he is not on the birth certificate or you are still pregnant, then you have the right to not name the father. The father would have to establish paternity if he feels he is in the position to parent the child.
Please know there are many different circumstances we have dealt with in the past. We’ve worked with scenarios where a woman was married and the father was on birth certificate, but he was dealing with legal issues which would prevent him from parenting. Alternatively, we have also dealt with fathers who knew they were not in the position to parent. Each situation is very unique, very different, and should always be viewed individually before coming to any conclusions. Please also know that your child is the most important person in this situation. They are too young to make decisions for themselves and depend on their parents to create a good life for them. Everything we do is to make sure that we meet the needs of the child and make sure the biological parents are fully informed and their questions are answered.