When Someone You Love is Struggling with Parenting
A Compassionate Guide for Friends and Family.
You see the signs. You’re worried. You want to help but don’t know how. You’re not alone.
Recognizing When Someone Needs Support
These signs may indicate a parent is struggling and could benefit from support:
Environmental Concerns
Unsafe or chaotic home environment, basic needs not consistently met, substance abuse affecting parenting
Emotional Signs
Expressing feeling overwhelmed, lost, or desperate about parenting responsibilities
Child-Related Indicators
Child appears fearful, takes on adult responsibilities, or shows concerning behavioral changes
Isolation Patterns
Withdrawing from support systems, avoiding family gatherings or social connections
How You Can Make a Difference
Do:
- Listen without judgment
- Validate their feelings
- Offer specific, practical support. Ex: “Let me bring dinner for you and the kids next week.”
- Respect their autonomy to make family decisions
- Ask how you can best support them
Don’t:
- Immediately try to “fix” their situation
- Make them feel guilty or ashamed
- Assume you know what’s best
- Share horror stories about similar situations
- Make the conversation about your feelings
When Adoption Becomes a Consideration
Choosing adoption can be an act of love, not failure.
Many parents consider adoption because they want their child to have opportunities and stability they currently cannot provide.
Message for Birth Parents
We are sorry you are faced with this difficult decision. We know every parent loves their child and wants the very best for them. We know you want your child to have the best life possible — a life filled with love, stability, and opportunity.
We understand that the child’s birth parent(s) want make their own decisions regarding the child’s future. We provide options, support, and expertise to help avoid involvement of Child Protective Services (CPS) and the fear or losing children to the foster care system.
We also understand birth parent concerns regarding what their child/children may think later in life after placing them for adoption. We have seen from our years of adoption work that children are generally thankful to their biological parents for the sacrifices they have made to ensure they are in a loving, stable home. When they are older, they will understand the difficult decision you were faced with and be grateful for all that you have done to ensure they are raised with every opportunity.
Birth parents ALWAYS have options, and we can help navigate them to make an informed decision on what is best for parents and children. You are not alone. We do not judge. Our services are free to you and we will always be honest in answering your questions.
Birth Mothers We Have Helped
Why Some Families Consider Adoption
- Financial instability or housing concerns
- Ongoing addition or mental health struggles
- Concerns about CPS involvement
- Recognition that the child needs more resources than available
- Unsafe home environment
How Birth Parents Maintain Control
If a birth parent chooses adoption, they:
- Choose the adoptive family
- Decide on the post-adoption contact level
- Receive free counseling and support
- Make decisions at their own pace
- Access financial support during the adoption process
SUPPORT
Our Services are free to you! We are here to help, listen, and understand what your hopes are. Our goal is to put children in solid, stable homes with lots of opportunity.
Here are some ways we can help:
Contact
You can call, message or text us at any time. We make ourselves available for you as you navigate this difficult time. We will listen to your situation and support and guide you through the process in every way we can.
You Decide
Children in Mind
Get to Know Your Options
Updates
Financial Support
ADOPTION PLAN
Questions We’ll Need Answers To:
- Are you and your child/children safe right now?
- Do you have legal custody of the child/children?
- Are your other family members unable to help, or do you not feel comfortable leaving your children with them permanently?
- It is your choice to name or not name the birth father, unless he is on the birth certificate.
- What are the whereabouts of the biological father and does he know you are considering an adoption plan for your child?
- Was the biological father a part of the child’s life and if so, for how long?
- Any medical or other special needs for your child/children?
- What provides your child/children with comfort? (For example, a special blanket, toy, certain meal, etc.)
Documents We’ll Need From You:
- Your child’s birth certificate and social security number.
- Your birth certificate and social security number.
Frequently Asked Questions from Birth Parents
Will I be able to know how the child is doing as they grow up? Would it be possible for me to see them sometimes?
We make sure that adoptive parents send us pictures and updates and we get them to you. It is very important to us that you sleep well and have peace in your heart that your child is doing well. It is up to you whether you want to have scheduled visits once or twice a year, pictures/ updates, or choose a closed adoption where you can call us if you want updates.
Will my child dislike me later because I placed them for adoption?
The truth is 98% of children who have good, stable, and loving homes are thankful that their biological family created this opportunity for them in life. They are thankful that you made such a selfless decision for them. Many of them want to meet their biological family when they become young adults.
What are open, semi-open, and closed adoptions?
– Open: There is a schedule of visitations once or twice a year between biological and adoptive parents.
– Semi-open: Pictures and updates, conference calls between bio and adoptive parents.
– Closed: Biological mother prefers privacy. She wants to reserve her right to contact our agency and ask for updates if she wants them later.
Do I have to identify the biological father?
Adoption Law in Indiana gives this choice to you. If you want to choose an adoptive plan for your child, you are not obligated to notify the biological father. If the father of the child insists that he wants to parent, as a mother, you can still make an adoption plan to secure safety and stability for the child. If you have more detailed questions about the rights of the father, please call us and we will provide information..
What are the consequences of children being raised in a home unable to meet their needs?
Multiple behavioral issues can develop and addition to medical diagnoses and the use of serious medication. Many caregivers and changes in placements create life-long attachment challenges for the child. Parents may also struggle with more difficult behaviors as the child becomes an adult.
Adoption is not for everybody but in many situations, it saves lives. Babies and young children don’t have a voice yet. It is the obligation of parents to provide the life the child deserves.
At what age can the child be place for adoption?
Children can be placed for adoption from newborn to school age. It is the responsibility of a parent to make sure their child is safe and has opportunities for a good and productive life.
What will my family and friends think about me if I place the child?
When a woman becomes pregnant, the main responsibility of the child is on her shoulders. Everybody likes to give advice but everyone has their own dilemmas and decisions. You don’t have to involve others into the decision to choose or not to choose an adoption plan. People advise and then go on with their life. Your responsibility is in the best interest of your child and you.
